


Kinky

by orphan_account



Series: Sinners Anonymous™️ [3]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/F, I wrote this in the three days i went campingon my memo app, M/M, Multi, concerned smile emoticon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-11 06:26:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7033435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>laf: guys</p><p>laf: i think i discovered a new kink of ours</p><p>Lion Cub: aggressively cries</p><p>john: what have i told you about having sex while me and herc are gone</p><p>hERCULES MULLIGAN: im more interested in the kink???</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kinky

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this on a jeeping trip
> 
> i wanna d i e
> 
> the Quiet Sex Kink is actually a thing i have
> 
> kinkshame me 
> 
> pls

laf: GUYS

laf: I think i discovered a new kink of ours

Lion Cub: aggressively cries

john: oh my god what have i told you about having sex while me and herc are gone

hERCULES MULLIGAN: im more interested in the kink???

and peggy: time to Kinkshame™

maria: i don't want to know tbfh

JMads: i do Oops™

TJeffs: im Screaming™

Lion Cub: LAF DONT DO THIS WE'RE GONNA GET KINKSHAMED

laf: a noble sacrifice

Lion Cub: Cries™

laf: me and alex have a Quiet Sex™ kink???

Angie: EHAT EVEN

eliza: YikesYikesYikes™

john: what is that???

Lion Cub: its basically where it goes kinda quieter and a bit slower and theres no real loud moaning or shouting but just little ohs and little sighs and little moans and little huffs and stuff

hERCULES MULLIGAN: how did you discover this exactly???

Lion Cub: ,,,,,

laf: i was teasing alex and i touched the inside of his thigh and he just

laf: he did this breathy little "Oh..." and i just

laf: Instant Boner™

maria: SCREAMS

laf: herc john

laf: when you get home

Lion Cub: NO

laf: you're gonna try it on alex because its the b e s t

TJeffs: iM KINKSHAMING

Lion Cub: WHY ON ME

eliza: IM LAUG HING SO HARD POOR ALEX

Lion Cub: MY OWN WIFE

Lion Cub: K I N K S H A M I N G M E

and peggy: cries in gay demigirl

Lion Cub: cries in bi trans

laf: cries in pan

john: cries in gay

hERCULES MULLIGAN: cries in pan

TJeffs: cries in poly

JMads: cries in poly

maria: cries in bi

Angie: cries in ace aro

eliza: cries in gay ace

Lion Cub: where has this chat gone to

TJeffs: hell

Lion Cub: True™

Lion Cub: FU CK I NG LAF

laf: I KISSED HIS NECK AND HE DID THE BREATHY LITTLE SIGH AGAIN IM SO G A Y

hERCULES MULLIGAN: IM OMW

john: we just established all of our sexualities but okay

hERCULES MULLIGAN: ARE YOU COMING OR NOT JOHN

laf: alex is ;)

john: SAVE SOME FOR US

Angie: i wanna Die™

TJeffs: we all do honey

-

hERCULES MULLIGAN: I HAVE THE QUIET SEX™ KINK

john: SAMESAMESAMESAME CRIES

_TJeffs sent a file: theanswertoaquestionineverasked.jpg_

JMads: screams angrily at cloud

_Lion Cub sent a file: breakingnews.jpg_

_Lion Cub sent a file: oldmanscreamsatcloud.jpg_

JMads: im leaving

Lion Cub: shit same

-

john: can we play would you fuck

Lion Cub: SCREAMS

Lion Cub: Y E S

TJeffs: what in the name of our good lord bernie sanders is that

Lion Cub: CAN I EXPLAIN IT

john: sigh yes

Lion Cub: OKAY SO

Lion Cub: WOULD YOU FUCK (WYF) IS LIKE NEVER HAVE I EVER YOU START WITH TEN FINGERS (OR POINTS IN THIS CASE) AND YOU NAME A PERSON THING ANIMAL (WE SUGGEST YOU DONT NAME ANIMALS COUGHCOUGH HERC) OR A KINK YOU HAVE (HAIRPULLING ETC) AND IF YOU HAVE THAT KINK YOU LOSE A POINT

Lion Cub: LAST SINNER STANDING WINS

Angie: MY ASEXUAL ASS IS HELLA DOWN FOR THIS

eliza: m e t o o

TJeffs: WE'RE DOING THIS

Lion Cub: ORDER IS: ME, THOMAS, LAF, HERC, PEGGY, MARIA, ELIZA, JOHN, ANGIE, AND JAMES

TJeffs: HELL YEAH

john: LETS GO MEME LOVERS

Lion Cub: EVERYONE STARTS AT 10 POINTS LETS GO YOU LITTLE SHITS

Lion Cub: J O H N L A U R E N S

hERCULES MULLIGAN: yoU KNOW WHAT

hERCULES MULLIGAN: 9

laf: 9

eliza: 9

maria: 10

maria: BABE

eliza: sorry

TJeffs: 10

JMads: 10

Angie: 9 if i wasn't ace

and peggy: 10

john: DAMN IT ALEX

Lion Cub: ;)

TJeffs: Hercules

Lion Cub: OH SHIT 9

laf: yikes 8

john: -264

john: 9

eliza: 9 sorry bby

hERCULES MULLIGAN ;(

JMads: that'd be like fucking my twin no thanks 10

and peggy: hell yeah who wouldn't bang that 9

maria: wow pegs u right 9

Angie: 8

hERCULES MULLIGAN: AYEAYEAYE

laf: batman

Lion Cub: yikes 8

laf: ALEX

Lion Cub: BOI HE'S R I P P E D

hERCULES MULLIGAN: oh shit,,,, u right 8

john: dan batty ur bobbies

john: oh shit im down to 7

eliza: 9

maria: 8

eliza: MARIA NO

TJeffs: ew 10

JMads: ,,,,9,,,,

TJeffs: MY OWN HUSBAND

JMads: none of us are married

  
TJeffs: that can change

JMads: did

JMads: did you just lowkey propose

and peggy: EIGHT

Lion Cub: in which we are all peggy

hERCULES MULLIGAN: MY TURN

hERCULES MULLIGAN: qUIET SEX KINK

Lion Cub: im divorcing you 7

laf: ^^ 7

john: guys don't worry

john: we can use

john: the Kink™

hERCULES MULLIGAN: OHNONONONONONO

Lion Cub: brought this on yourself bitch

Angie: sounds p cool from what i've heard so my ace ass is at 7

eliza: I'll try it on maria lmao 9

maria: 8

maria: wait ehat

and peggy: 7

TJeffs: shit 9

JMads: mmmmm 8

Lion Cub: still can't believe my ex husband used that kink just to get me

and peggy: don't worry hoe i got you

and peggy: im gonna use the Kink™

and peggy: BDSM KINK

Lion Cub: t h e r e i s a g o d

Lion Cub: PEGGY YOU A LOYAL HOE

and peggy: THIS LOYAL HOE WILL STAY BY YOUR SIDE FOREVER AND KINKSHAME YOUR THOT ASS BF'S

Lion Cub: NOT QUITE CIS HOE SQUAD FOR LIFE

and peggy: NOT QUITE CIS HOE SQUAD FOR LIFE

Angie: god damn it guys 7

laf: really small kink so 7

hERCULES MULLIGAN: HHHHHH 7

john: only when its herc 6

maria: whats bdsm

Lion Cub: SWEETY

_Lion Cub sent a file: screamsinfearoftheunknown.jpg_

maria: so i guess im still 8

eliza: shiet no that kinda stuff sucks 9

john: HERF DOES IT SO GOOD THO

john: shit herc*

Lion Cub: herf

TJeffs: 7

Lion Cub: T H O M A S

TJeffs: :///

JMads: he has a bondage kink for whoever is up next

TJeffs: B O I

JMads: ;)

maria: GOD IS REAL BLESS

maria: BONDAGE KINK

TJeffs: FUCK YOU HAMES

john: Hamilton/James= Hames

JMads: HELL TO THE NO

_Lion Cub sent a file: iam,,,disgusted.jpg_

maria: WE'RE STILL PLAYING YOU KNOW

Lion Cub: ,,, 6 ,,,

TJeffs: *brings out filing cabinet full of screenshots*

TJeffs: according to June 26th, 2015 that statement is untrue

Lion Cub: wasn't that when same-sex marriage was legalized

TJeffs: WE ALL WENT TO MY HOUSE AND TRASHED EVERYTHING THAT LOOKED STRAIGHT I THINK I REMEMBER

Lion Cub: I PUNCHED SOME HOMOPHOBIC WOMAN AND STARTED FREESTYLING ABOUT LGBT AND EQUAL RIGHTS UNTIL SHE STARTED CRYING

TJeffs: "MOTHA FUCKA WE BEEN SITTIN HERE FOR MORE THAN 2000 DAMN YEAR' AN' YOU OVA HERE COMPLAININ' 'BOUT SOME FUCKIN' QUEERS, WOMAN WE BEEN FIGHTIN' FOR YOUR DAMN RIGHTS SINCE WE WAS FUCKIN' ON THE RUN YOU SIT HERE ENJOY YOURSELF AND HAVE SOME FUCKIN' FUN BUT HOE YOU AIN'T EVER GONNA REALIZE WE DIDN' GET TO PICK, MAN STANDIN' NEXT TO ME IS THE CLOSEST YOU EVER GONNA GET TO A DICK" I WAS SOBBING JESUS TEARS

Lion Cub: i kinda got out of the freestyling loop and just started rhyming because i was so excited and hyped and angry i couldn't think straight (hah)

Angie: I HAVE A VIDEO OF IT

Lion Cub: OH MY G O D

_Angie sent a file: ALEXANDERSLAYS2K15.mp3_

Lion Cub: THE NAME THO

john: "you're going to hell because god said so-"

john: "HOE GOD MADE YOU LOOK LIKE GOD DAMN BARNEY DAMN YOU IN WORSE SHAPE THAN THE NATIONAL DEBT IS IN"

Lion Cub: SHE LOOKED SO OFFENDED

hERCULES MULLIGAN: MY FAVORITE PART IS "i don't have time for your sinfulness" "WHY DONT YOU TAKE THIS  
TIME TO PULL THAT STICK OUT OF YOUR ASS"

Angie: TAG YOURSELF IM "someone should put you and your friends in a gay camp" "SOMEONE SHOULD PUT YOU IN A BOX FLOATING DOWN THE RIVER"

john: IM "HOE GOD MADE YOU LOOK LIKE GOD DAMN BARNEY"

TJeffs: MINE IS "MOTHA FUCKA WE BEEN SITTIN HERE FOR MORE THAN 2000 DAMN YEAR' AN' YOU OVA HERE COMPLAININ' 'BOUT SOME FUCKIN' QUEERS, WOMAN WE BEEN FIGHTIN' FOR YOUR DAMN RIGHTS SINCE WE WAS FUCKIN' ON THE RUN YOU SIT HERE ENJOY YOURSELF AND HAVE SOME FUCKIN' FUN BUT HOE YOU AIN'T EVER GONNA REALIZE WE DIDN'T GET TO PICK, MAN STANDIN' NEXT TO ME IS THE CLOSEST YOU EVER GONNA GET TO A DICK"

JMads: MINE IS "MAN STANDIN' NEXT TO ME IS THE CLOSEST YOU EVER GONNA GET TO A DICK"

Lion Cub: i roasted myself for the greater good

and peggy: CAN WE TALK ABOUT "THERES A REASON YOUR CRUSTY ASS IS STILL ON THIS EARTH AT AGE 98 YOU KNOW WHY" "i wont stand for thi-" "GOD DOESNT WANT TO HAVE TO OCCUPY TWENTY ROOMS AT ONCE"

Lion Cub: i feel bad for lowkey highkey fat shaming but i got mad

laf: MY FAVORITE PART IS WHEN ALEX SCREAMED "HOE I HOPE THE FUCK YOU DO" WHEN SHE WENT TO HIT JOHN WITH HER SIGN AND HE LITERALLY ATTACKED HER ARM

laf: THE POLICE OFFICER WAS RIGHT THERE AND HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING IT WAS AMAZING

Lion Cub: he stopped me after the pride parade celebration thing and asked me to meet him at Starbucks and i kinda panicked because he's a little over my age and i didn't know if he knew i was dating laf herc and john but i had a "fuck it" moment and went anyway and it was so amazing he bought me a Vanilla Bean Cremé and we sat and he started chiding about his husband and how he has a little boy and i almost screamed he was so precious

laf: OH MY GOD??? WHY??? DID??? YOU??? NOT??? TELL??? ME???

Lion Cub: WE MEET REGULARLY FOR COFFEE AND BREAKFAST TO GOSSIP ABOUT HOW CUTE OUR BOYFRIENDS/HUSBANDS ARE AND I WAS LOWKEY HIGHKEY SCREAMING HIS HUSBAND IS THIS REALLY COOL GUY NAMED MATTHEW AND HIS NAME IS RED AND I SHIP THEM SO MUCH

john: WHATS THE SON'S NAME

Lion Cub: THE SON'S NAME IS JONES AND HE IS SO CUTE HE INTRODUCED ME THE OTHER DAY ACTUALLY

hERCULES MULLIGAN: IM SCREAMING DOES HE KNOW ABOUT US

Lion Cub: im hanging out with him and the Gay Squadron v.2 actually and im dropping hints

laf: DID YOU SERIOUSLY PLAY WYF AROUND THEM

Lion Cub: im playing it with them rn lmao

Lion Cub: "Andrew its your turn"  
"you"  
"A N D R E W"  
\- Matthew 2k16

hERCULES MULLIGAN: I LIKE ANDREW

Lion Cub: "my boyfriend thinks you're cool"  
"i think im cool too"

hERCULES MULLIGAN: SCRATCH THAT HE'S MY FAVORITE

Lion Cub: IM LOWKEY HIGHKEY DROPPING HINTS BRB

Lion Cub: "so... do you know about polymary?"  
"isn't that where you date two people?"  
"or more"  
"oh, yeah my cousin is polymarous!"  
"so you're cool with it?"  
"of course! just means more love!"  
"and more sexy sex sex"  
"ANDREW FOR FUCKS SAKE"

Lion Cub: am i doing this right

TJeffs: TAG YOURSELF IM "and more sexy sex sex"

JMads: im alex throughout this entire thing

john: KEEP GOING

Lion Cub: "why are you asking, are you polymarous?"  
"maybe... yeah"  
"OH MY GOD! I /NEED/ TO MEET YOUR BOYFRIENDS!"  
"aw Andrew"  
"WHICH ONE IS THE TAILOR AND YOU KEEP SAYING IS RIPPED?!"  
"thats Hercules"  
"OOH AND THE REALLY PRETTY "FRIEND" WITH THE ACCENT?!"  
"(at this point im as red as a damn tomato) L-Lafayette."  
"OH AND YOU'RE SUPER CUTE "FRIEND" WHO QUOTE-UNQUOTE "HAS FRECKLES THAT LOOK LIKE THE STARS"?!"  
"andrew oh my god"  
"thats John."

Angie: OH MY GOD ALEX "FRECKLES THAT LOOK LIKE STARS" THATS SO GAY

Lion Cub: ,,,,

john: BABE DID YOU REALLY SAY ALL THOSE THINGS ABOUT US

Lion Cub: uhm maybe

Lion Cub: "Alex you should bring them tommorow!"  
"Thanks Red, but they don't do well in groups of loud gay people. i should know"  
"screw it, they're coming."  
"thanks to Alexander they are"  
"ANDREW FUCKING LEESON"

john: OH MY GOD YES

laf: IM SCREAMING

Angie: ASK IF YOU CAN INVITE SINNERS ANONYMOUS

Lion Cub: "do you have anymore gay or non straight friends?"  
"quite a few, we're called Sinners Anonymous"  
"invite them to our place, me and Red have his sister watching Jones, we could have a Gay's night! y'know like guy's night but gay?"  
"oh shit uh let me ask them"

Lion Cub: YOU GUYS IN

_Angie sent a file: hellfUCKINGYEAAAAAH.mp3_

eliza: YEAH IM IN

Lion Cub: WE ALL IN

and peggy: !!

maria: !!

john: !!

laf: !!

hERCULES MULLIGAN: !!

TJeffs: am i invited

Lion Cub: "can i invite my asshole hoe politics friend that im hella cool with"  
"/andrew plays the hELL FUCKING YEAAAAH video/"  
"WE'RE IN A CAFÉ"

TJeffs: !!

JMads: !!

Lion Cub: WE'RE DOING THIS

TJeffs: GAY SLEEP OVER YEAAAAH

-

laf: WE NEVER FINISHED WYF

TJeffs: its one am bro go back to sleep

laf: suck my highlighted ass

_Lion Cub sent a file: gladly.jpg_

john: why are any of us awake

hERCULES MULLIGAN: laf is laf, you just woke up and so did i, Thomas was probably woken up and Alex never sleeps

Lion Cub: True

and peggy: i s2g boi

maria: WHO'S IN THE LEAD

JMads: oh my god go back to sleep

Lion Cub: you aren't my dad

Lion Cub: he left a long time ago

laf: OH

Lion Cub: <:^)

eliza: i will step in as the mom friend and say

eliza: shut the fuck up and lets finish this hoes imma whoop your asses

Lion Cub: #bestofwivesandbestofwomen

Lion Cub: SCORES: ME: 6 THOMAS: 6 ANGELICA: 7 ELIZA: 9 PEGGY: 7 JOHN: 6 LAF: 7 HERC: 7 JAMES: 7 MARIA: 8

eliza: IM IN THE LEAD YEAH

maria: ;"(

eliza: <3

maria: <3

hERCULES MULLIGAN: 8=>

Lion Cub: ANYWAY

Lion Cub: WIFE YOU'RE UP

eliza: HAIRPULLING KINK

TJeffs: SHIT 5

Lion Cub: ,,, 5 ,,,

john: 5

hERCULES MULLIGAN: lmao i don't have enough hair for that 7

JMads: same 7

laf: 6 :/

maria: 7

eliza: hAHA

Angie: the fUCK NO OW 7

and peggy: mm no 7

Lion Cub: fuckin wimp

john: ALEX

laf: bOI IF U DON'T

laf: 6

hERCULES MULLIGAN: shit 6

eliza: im a loyal hoe to my husband 8

Lion Cub: BEST OF WIVES AND BEST OF WOMEN

maria: im a loyal hoe to eliza so whoever she a loyal hoe to im a loyal hoe to 6

Lion Cub: SCREAMS I AM THE LOYAL MOTHER HOE

Lion Cub: FOLLOW ME MY HOELINGS

TJeffs: 4

JMads: 7 THOMAS

TJeffs: he gives good blowjobs from what herc told me ;0

hERCULES MULLIGAN: *jumps off cliff*

Angie: IM A PART OF THE LOYAL HOE SQUAD 6

Lion Cub: HELL YEAAAAH

and peggy: IM LOYAL HOE #3 6

Lion Cub: Sweet jesus blESS

john: are you ever gonna explain the loyal hoe squad to us

Angie: loyal hoe brother Alex

Angie: your loyal hoe response

_Lion Cub sent a file: ahem,,,.jpg_

_Lion Cub sent a file: no.jpg_

TJeffs: LAUGHING

Angie: THOMAS JEFFERSON

TJeffs: 3 ;)

JMads: 6

laf: 6

hERCULES MULLIGAN: 6 

john: ew 5

Lion cub: 4

Lion cub: who wouldn't fuck a massive dick

Angie: ANYWAY

eliza: im at 8

and peggy: i am,,,, disgusted,,,,

and peggy: 6

JMads: mmm let me see

JMads: the rick roll dude

Lion cub: YIKES 3

john: 4

laf: 5

hERCULES MULLIGAN: 5

Angie: 5

and peggy: 5

eliza: 7

TJeffs: 2

maria: 5

JMads: we're all going to hell

Lion cub: what was your first clue

laf: WE NEED TO KEEP GOINJG UNTIL SOMEONE WINS

Lion cub: ROBBY FROM BOY MEETS GIRL

laf: slams head on table

laf: 4

john: HE WAS SO NICE AT THE END I WAS SOBBING

john: 3

hERCULES MULLIGAN: AGGRESIVE SCREAMING 4

Angie: i've never seen that movie is it good

Angie: i guess im still at 5

and peggy: WE WATCHED IT WITH ALEX ELIZA AND MARIA REMEMBER ANG

and peggy: AND BURR TOO

Angie: oH YEAH 4

eliza: SCREAMS AND CRIES 6

maria: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 4

TJeffs: well im down to 1

JMads: mm he was kind of an ass for lowkey misgendering her so no 6

laf: SCREW THE ORDER IM GOING NEXT

laf: RICKY FROM BOY MEETS GIRL

Lion cub: STOP IM GONNA CRY

Lion cub: I RESONATED WITH HER SO MUCH I WAS CRYING TH E ENTIRE TIME

Lion cub: 2 !!!!!!!!!

john: SHE WAS SO SWEET AND SASSY YES I WOULD GO STRAIGHT FOR RICKY 2

hERCULES MULLIGAN: wait what am i at now

hERCULES MULLIGAN: OH 3

TJeffs: im out

JMads: 4

Lion cub: SCREAMS THOMAS HOW ARE YOU OUT ALREADY

TJeffs: IM KINKY OKAY

and peggy: 3

Angie: 3

eliza: 5

Lion cub: OH HOW THE MIGHTY HAVE FALLEN

maria: OH YEAH I WOULD 4

john: MY TURN

john: GENE FROM BOB'S BURGERS

Lion cub: oh dear 1

laf: 3

eliza: 4

Angie: HE'S A CHILD

Angie: 3

and peggy: im young enough for that 2

maria: ew no 4

hERCULES MULLIGAN: mm 2

JMads: 3

TJeffs: if i was still in i would

hERCULES MULLIGAN: TINA 

Lion cub: im out

john: 2

laf: 2

eliza: 3

Angie: 2

and peggy: 1

maria: 3

JMads: 2

eliza: LOUISE

john: 1

Angie: 1

JMads: 1

and peggy: IM OUT

hERCULES MULLIGAN: 1

laf: 1

TJeffs: jfc

Lion cub: i know right

Angie: linda

laf: im out

Jmads: same

hERCULES MULLIGAN: im out

john: im out

eliza: 2

maria: 2

Lion cub: ITS BETWEEN ANGIE MARIA AND ELIZA

Lion cub: MY MONEYS ON ANGIE

john: ELIZA

hERCULES MULLIGAN: MY MONEY IS ON MY UNOFFICAL WIFE MARIA

maria: BOB 

eliza: oh no 1

Angie: 2 

eliza: MARIA I AM YOUR WIFE WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME

maria: IM SORRY YOU CAN USE ONE OF MINE NEXT

eliza: teddy from bob's burgers

maria: 1

Angie: 2

maria: SOMEONE GET ANGIE OUT

Angie: CLARKE FROM THE 100

eliza: im out

maria: AAAAAAAAA

maria: im out

Lion cub: HIGH FIVES ANGIE

Angie: HIGH FIVES BACK

eliza: this was a wild ride

Lion cub: we probably should get some sleep for tommorow night

TJeffs: its so early i cant tell the time

Lion cub: go to bed

john: good night nerds

Lion cub: i love you all

TJeffs: thank 

Lion cub: not u

TJeffs: >:(((

john: im taking alex's phone away

JMads: i took thomas' away

hERCULES MULLIGAN: good night y'all

-

and peggy: we are sinners

**Author's Note:**

> these are my sweet children
> 
> would you fuck is a game me and my friends made


End file.
